In March 2025 our family had a very scary and stressful experience. My husband went in for a routine medical procedure and after returning home, he had some very serious complications. It was one of those things that really made me pause. My husband is a very healthy, resilient man and in the blink of an eye I’m pleading with the emergency room staff to
keep him alive!
Without going into too much back story, my husband had a doctor appointment for a regular checkup and to discuss some things that were bothering him. One of the things the doctor requested was for him to get a colonoscopy. He was not thrilled! But, do to being over 45 and a family history of colon cancer it seemed necessary. He put it off for about 6 months and after having another follow up appointment, ended up finally following through with seeing the referred gastroenterologist.
He had his consultation and they went over the bowel prep instructions. Another thing the doctor discussed was the removal of any polyps during the procedure. This made my husband very uncomfortable. He is a guy that believes if something isn’t broken, there is no need to fix it. He is also not someone who has had any surgical procedures (aside from his wisdom teeth) or broken bones….he’s definitely a strong, healthy guy!! Regardless of his discomfort with this idea of removing something while doing the procedure, he scheduled the colonoscopy for a few weeks later.
Have you ever had a colonoscopy? I had one in my early thirties and the prep was awful!! It still sits at one of my top 3 worst medical experiences I’ve ever had to deal with. But my husband breezed through the prep with no issues. He did not seem to have to drink nearly as much fluids as I did when I had mine!! We headed into the outpatient surgery center that morning for his procedure. They told me it would be about 30 minutes to an hour to complete the colonoscopy and they would come get me when he was in recovery.
I sat in the waiting room patiently waiting and waiting and waiting. At an hour and fifteen minutes I started to get restless. At an hour and a half I started to get stressed and worried. They finally came and got me and took me back. I felt so relieved to find him groggy and starting to wake up!! This was the first time he was the patient and I was going to be taking care of him…aside from an occasional flu, this was very much out of our norm!!
The recovery nurse was amazing and very helpful. My husband was continuing to wake up and become more alert. The nurse was starting to go over his recovery instructions for at home when his doctor popped in to talk with us. Well, to talk to me because my husband was still not fully aware!! LOL! His doctor wanted to let me know that 3 polyps were removed. One
was fairly large (he said it was about the size of part of his thumb and we would read later that it was around 18mm) and the other two were smaller (we would find out later they were actually 16mm and 17mm and within 1mm of each other). They were sent to pathology and we would hear back in about a week with the results. His doctor let me know that he was very surprised by the amount and sizes of the polyps he found given my husband’s age. He also let me know he was a bit concerned but to not worry about anything until we got the pathology results in. He then told me we needed to watch for bleeding. If he sat on the toilet and bled more than a half of cup or had continuous bleeding, we would need to head to the emergency room.
I knew my husband was going to be stressed about what the doctor had said and waiting until the lab results came back. His doctor had also said to continue a clear liquid diet for the next 24 hours to allow the removal sites to clot up. Once home, I sent my husband
straight to bed. The poor guy was starving so I gave him some broth and hoped he would just sleep till the next day!!
He got up the next morning and decided he felt good enough to return to work. Being self employed does not give you the opportunity to give yourself lots of recovery time especially when you have a very full schedule and deadlines!!
I figured it would relieve some of his stress waiting for the lab results if he was busy at work so I didn’t protest that much. By early afternoon he had eaten a banana and a chocolate protein shake. Right before he was headed out for the day he went into the bathroom feeling like he needed to have a bowel movement. He called me slightly panicked a few minutes later.
I thought he was calling to tell me he was on his way home but instead he starts rambling about how there is a good amount of blood in the toilet. I didn’t want to make it worse by panicking too so after listening to him try to describe the situation, I told him to send me a picture of the toilet (the man is colorblind so I wanted to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was seeing). As soon as I got it I told him I was on my way to grab him and we were going to the emergency room. It was definitely blood and there was a lot of it!! He was really scared, rightfully so!! I was too!! He decided that since he was closer to the ER he was just going to head over and meet me there. I wasn’t thrilled with his choice to drive himself but I jumped in my truck and booked it to the ER.
By the time I got there he was already in triage and within minutes of showing the nurse the picture of the blood in the toilet, they had him in a room. A nurse came into his room and started with his vitals, getting an IV in, and then a blood draw. My husband was not looking well at all. He was very pale and clammy. I could see the worry in his eyes and the discomfort in his expression. Not long after, the ER doctor came in to assess him. I didn’t think he was treating the issue with any urgency. He told my husband that they were going to see what the blood results showed and he would need to do a rectal exam. Huh!?! My poor husband!!
I wasn’t really sure why but later the nurse explained to me that they test the blood from the exam if there is any. And he in fact did have blood. I asked the doctor to please reach out to the gastroenterologist and let him know my husband was there and bleeding. He told me that the gastroenterologist was not a doctor that was on call in the ER. I argued with him that my husband had his colonoscopy the day before, at this hospital’s surgery center, and his doctor was already concerned about bleeding becoming an issue when he left the surgery center due to the removal of 3 polyps, and he was a physician with the hospital so it would be in the best
interest of my husband and the ER to contact him. The ER doctor continued to be dismissive with me about it and left the room.
Not long after, my husband felt the need to sit on the toilet so they brought in a portable commode for him. After the nurse left and he sat down, it sounded like running water going into the bowl. I was afraid to look at what it was but I did and it was just blood and lots of it.
Up to this point I wasn’t too concerned. I mean, we were already in the ER and they were figuring things out but after seeing how much blood he dispelled, I started freaking out on the inside. I did not want him to see my stress, concern, or panic though. I knew it was the last thing he needed. I was able to help him get back into the bed and get settled. It is at this point
that my husband really started to panic. I can not even imagine what it would feel like to see that much blood exit your body.
The nurse came back in and poured the contents of the commode into a plastic pitcher with lines on it too measure the amount of liquid. He had filled it up over half way in just that one sit on the commode. The nurse did a great job of not over reacting and kept reassuring us he was ok and that your body can lose a fair amount of blood before it is a concern. My
husband kept asking how much was going to be too much. They had also tested his hemoglobin and were going to continue to check it. The ER doctor popped back in, saw the amount of blood in the pitcher, and said not to worry. What!?! We were definitely worried!! I again asked if he had tried contacting the gastroenterologist and he said he was going to put a call in to him but he was not an on call doctor and not to expect a call back. I told him to let him know what was going on and told him again that I knew the doctor would want to be made aware of the situation and I was sure he would have instructions.
My husband and I sat in that ER room. And sat there. He kept asking me if they were going to do anything or just let him bleed to death. I tried to do my best to assure him that they were in no way just going to let him bleed to death and I would not let them anyway. But I was getting worried about how long we had been sitting in there with nothing happening to make the bleeding stop. About an hour later my husband tells me he needs to sit on the commode again, that the pressure is becoming too much, he can’t handle it. I helped him onto the toilet bowl. As I am trying to help him, he starts to sway and almost falls. He is grey in color and starts profusely sweating. I hit the call button and let the voice know that we need help, NOW!!!!
Very quickly a different doctor comes rushing in. She looks at my husband, looks at the pitcher on the counter full of blood, and tells me he needs to get back into the bed immediately. I was in total agreement!! I had never seen my husband that color before. As she and a nurse try to carefully move him back into the bed, he lets them know he’s starting to black out. They assure him he’s ok and quickly get him laying back down. The doctor begins checking his vitals and then checks the commode. She has the nurse add it to the pitcher to measure and it overflows while she’s pouring it in. The doctor tells my husband he is not to get up again. In the meantime, another doctor comes in. They begin discussing his hemoglobin levels. When he was first admitted to the ER his level was in the 14-15 range. In the couple of hours that we were there, it had quickly dropped to 11. These two female doctors that had come in seemed very concerned and on top of the situation. One of them assured me that she had a call out to the on call surgeon but because of a motor vehicle accident that had come in around the same time as us, he was currently in surgery. She also let me know that she had called the gastroenterologist and it shouldn’t be too long before he responded. Such a different tune from the first doctor!!
Since I knew he was in good hands with these ladies and nurses, I quickly excused myself to run to the bathroom. While in there I made a call to my mom to give her an update. I let her know that I was scared for my husband and so worried. I broke down a little bit while talking to her and appreciated hearing her voice and reassurance that it was going to be ok. She also told me to get control of myself and not let him see me so upset. And that’s what I did.
After returning to his room, one of the doctors returned to tell us that he was going to be admitted. It shouldn’t be too much longer but it would take a little time to get things in order and get him upstairs. She also let us know that his gastroenterologist had called with directions and parameters for them to follow. At that time, he would be admitted upstairs and observed till the morning where he would be going back into surgery. They were happy to see his sweating had stopped and his color was a little bit better but they had a crash cart outside his door because they were worried they would need it. They also let us know it would be a real possibility that he may end up with a blood transfusion. Now they really had my attention…as if they didn’t already have it before!!
Since he was being admitted I made a call to my boys. I had them grab some things for me and head to the hospital to see their dad and take his truck home. They arrived in time to walk upstairs with us and see where his room was going to be. The floor nurse welcomed us and made the transition so easy. She assured us that I could stay all night with my husband and the boys could even stay if that was what we wanted. They got my husband into the bed, cleaned him up, and started to follow his gastroenterologist’s directions. She let us know that his hemoglobin was going to be checked every 2 hours, he was on the schedule to go into surgery in the morning, there were a few things they had to do to prep his bowels and hopefully get as much blood out as possible, if his hemoglobin dropped below 10 he would be getting a transfusion to ensure he could get through surgery to repair the bleed. It was a lot and we were all scared but I could feel that we were in good hands.
Our boys gave their dad big hugs and love, hugged me tight, then headed out the door to go home and take care of our animals. I appreciated them so much in those moments. My oldest had hugged me extra tight and didn’t rush as he told me it was going to be ok and to call him if I needed anything. My husband ended up on the commode a few more times throughout the night. The bleeding was continuous and he felt like he might not get through it. He continued to ask the nurses if he was going to bleed to death. I felt like my heart was being ripped out every time. His hemoglobin was continuing to drop. It was a very restless night.
Before the floor nurse for the night finished her shift, she had given us the paperwork to go over for a possible blood transfusion. I had been avoiding looking at it hoping he wouldn’t need it. At one point, she looked me in the eyes and told me to read it and make a decision because it was looking like he was going to need it. Just before sunrise I finally grabbed it and
sat next to him on the bed. I began reading it aloud to him. I only made it about half way before I started to panic. I was trying so very hard to keep the tears back and keep my voice even but I was quickly losing the battle. And it isn’t that I wouldn’t do whatever it took to keep my husband alive.
Neither one of us would decline the blood transfusion if it was a matter of life or death but just the idea that it was necessary was really hard to get through. Reading all of the issues that could arise from receiving the blood, the possible reactions during and after the infusion, just all of it, made the moment so incredibly real and insanely overwhelming and scary. Before I could get through the whole paper my husband looks at me and asks if I know where the life insurance paperwork is. My only response was to ask him to stop. That it wasn’t going to be needed because he would be fine but the sound of his voice, the look on his face, it was so upsetting.
Not long after that, we were informed that his hemoglobin had dropped too low and they were going to do the infusion. It felt devastating. I knew he did not want to do it but at the same time he had to do it if it meant saving his life. They began prepping him and ordered the blood. The nurse went over how the transfusion was given and how long it would take. As she was setting up his gastroenterologist came into the room. He is an older man, known to be very good at his work, kind, soft spoken, to the point, empathetic, and full of concern for both of us. He let us know that he was taking my husband in for surgery in about 30 minutes. He felt like he knew where the bleed was and he was going to get it stopped. He apologized for what my husband was going through and assured us that he would be fine once the bleed was stopped. As he got up to leave, I stopped him and asked if we still needed to do the transfusion. He said he was taking him in to surgery in 30 minutes and the nurse had told me the transfusion was going to take about 2 hours so I was confused. After looking things over he said the transfusion could wait but to keep everything set in case they needed it during the colonoscopy to repair the bleed. The look on my husband’s face mirrored the relief I was feeling.
True to his word, about 30 minutes later they took my husband. I felt like I blinked and then they were wheeling him out. I started to panic. Wait!!!! Where am I supposed to go??? How long will he be gone??? I need to stay with him!! I was standing in front of his bed in the hallway not letting them move him any farther as I tried to voice my questions. The day nurse just kind of looked at me and said I should wait in his room. The guy taking him to the surgery floor looked at me and he must’ve seen my panic. He kindly told me that he could show me a waiting area if that would be more comfortable. Then my husband got my attention and told me to go lay down in the room and try to get some sleep. I didn’t want to be a crazy wife so I just nodded, moved up to kiss my husband, and stepped out of the way. I walked back into that hospital room, looked around, then bawled my eyes out.
I had a raging headache and a need for coffee. I think I just needed something to keep my mind busy so I headed down to the lobby and grabbed a terrible latte from the hospital cafe. I felt like I was in a daze, there but not there. I was told his surgery should only take about an hour or so. I didn’t want to leave the room again because I was hoping someone would know I was there and keep me updated. I also did not want to miss the doctor coming in to talk to me after he finished. I am sure I dozed a bit but I also got up and kept asking the nurses if they knew anything. At 2 hours in I started to feel sick. I was so scared something was wrong, he was laying on the operating table bleeding to death, they couldn’t fix it, they couldn’t save him….all the worst case scenarios. I headed back to the nurses station and demanded they call to wherever he was and get me an update. A few minutes later the nurse came in to tell me he was in recovery and would be wheeled back to the room in a few moments. I felt like I could finally breathe!!
He did get wheeled back to his room not long after. He was super sleepy and emotional. I was gutted. I felt so helpless. He looked so small laying there. I just wanted him to laugh and get out of the bed so we could go home. His doctor popped back in to give us an update. He let me know that the surgery had gone well and he had not only cauterized the area again but he also put a glue on it and something else (I can’t remember exactly what it was) to get the bleed to stop. It was just the one area that had the bleed and it should be fine now. He would need to continue a clear liquid diet for a few more days, then he would need to do a low res diet for a couple weeks. He also let us know that due to the amount of blood lost, it would take a fair amount of time to be back to normal so rest would be in order for a bit. He told my husband that he could have some juice and jello in just a bit and if he did alright with it then he could be discharged that afternoon. The last thing he told us was how he had checked to see if the labs were back from the polyps but they were not so he would be in touch as soon as he saw them come in. I was elated!!!
I sat with him for awhile till he was wide awake and ready to have something to kinda eat!! Then I called my oldest to give the boys the wonderful update. I decided to head home and pop into the grocery store to get a few things I knew my husband would need. My oldest headed to the hospital to sit with his dad so I wouldn’t feel too stressed stepping away. Once back, we only had to hang out a little bit longer then they were wheeling him out and loading him into my truck. I could not wait to get him home and settled!!
The drive home was great and not great at the same time. It was such a relief to be on our way home but the experience had definitely left its mark. I knew I still felt incredibly overwhelmed, tense, tired, relieved, and grateful. I couldn’t even begin to understand how it all must feel for my husband. He was emotional, overwhelmed, felt violated, sore, tired, and incredibly grateful as well. For a man who has never had medical issues, an IV, stayed in a hospital, surgery, or any serious medical emergencies or experiences…this one sure broke him in!! Once we got home, all I wanted to do was wrap him in my arms and sleep next to him!!
A couple days later the gastroenterologist called my husband. Earlier that day my husband checked his MyChart and saw that the results were in for the polyps. He had tried to read all of the info but became overwhelmed, stressed, and scared. He was so grateful to hear the doctor’s voice explain it all to him. We knew that there was concern and a high possibility that one of the polyps may end up being cancerous. Luckily, two of the polyps were a type that was not a concern. The third one though was the bad kind. He told us that they rate them on a scale of 1-4 and this one was a 3.5. Even though it was the not great kind it was still below a 4 and it was already removed so there wasn’t anything else to do at this time. He did tell my husband he would have to do another colonoscopy in 6 months to see if the area had any new growth or changes. I can tell you my husband was not impressed with knowing he would be headed back in so soon!!
We had a follow up appointment with our general physician not long after this happened. Before the appointment my husband went to have some bloodwork done but unfortunately they were unable to draw his blood. At his appointment, our doctor was so sweet. The first thing she says is how sorry she is that my husband had to go through this after going in for such a routine procedure. She said she felt awful for all that he had to go through but she is relieved that he is doing well now. She also explained that it was going to take a few months for him to fully recover after losing so much blood. The end total of his blood loss turned out to be approximately 2.5 liters. She informed us that was about 40% of his blood. She was happy he was able to avoid the transfusion too. His hemoglobin had dropped to 9.7 when it was checked before he was taken into surgery. Before being discharged that afternoon, it was up too 10.2. She said it takes about one month to regenerate one point of hemoglobin. He was looking at a good 3 months before he would feel back to normal.
I know this was a long read and I appreciate you sticking with it till the end!! It is experiences like this that remind us to appreciate all that is around us and the people in our lives that matter the most. I can not imagine even a minute without my husband in it. I have no idea how I would get through that loss and I am so grateful and blessed for every moment we have together. I am also grateful for the amazing emergency room and hospital staff that went above and beyond to care for my husband and even to care for me during such a traumatic experience. I also saw a side of my boys that showed me more of their maturing character and ability to handle unexpected situations making me an even prouder mom of the men they are becoming.
One last thing….I urge you to be on top of your health. Do the age appropriate tests to check for all the scary things. Be open and honest with your doctor and always be your best advocate!! Some things are not fun, some things make us uncomfortable, but if it catches things early and allows the options to keep ourselves healthy, we can all handle the short lived discomfort.